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Dear Argentina,

When you came into this World Cup alongside some serious greatness, among them Ronaldinho, whose genius even I cannot ignore, and Thierry Henry, who almost singlehandedly matches the hotness quotient of the entire Azzuri, I watched you from the corner of a distracted eye, hoping for the sake of Batistuta and all the rest of your great and beautiful ghosts that you would not humiliate the country which had the ignominous shame of producing a first lady impersonated for all posterity by Madonna.

Roswitha pens a letter to the Argentinian team.

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