The issue maybe done to death, but since we haven’t seen the end of it, Ultra Violet on the fairness, loveliness and women.

Fairness cream advertisements repeatedly drum in the message that only someone who is fair can find a boyfriend, get married or be successful at work and woe betide the parents of a girl who is dark skinned. It is surprising that this socio-cultural obsession with an ancient stereotype continues to prevail in forms both extreme and subtle.

genderbenders has a post that found a lot of resonance.

at a heated drawing room discussion on international politics the other day, i was told to ‘learn how to argue’ before venturing to actually doing so. on being questioned, my ‘wellwisher’ felt that i had several ‘good points’ to make- but seemed to be putting them across too ‘passionately’. this would make my *male* co-arguers think i was getting too emotional and would lead to them taking me less seriously than they should.

Broom goes back to the beginning of her relationship with The Girl…

The first time I heard about The Girl, was at my interview for this new job that I eventually landed. My boss mentioned her to me and said that she would be my counterpart in her country. My first mental reaction was to wonder if she was competent and if I’d have a hard time dealing with her because we had to work together a lot.

It is already a multi-post story, so if the first bit grabs your attention, you can read the rest of the history…

Meenakshi Madhavan (Compulsive Confessor) is so out of the Indian mainstream and so at home in the U.S mainstream that talking about sex makes perfect sense. To me EM (Meenakshi Madhavan) just endorses the myth that only a ‘modern’ ‘free’ girl can talk about sex. It is her dexterously crafted Bohemian aura that makes her the right choice for sexual escapades that has to be recorded and discussed. She is everything that is sexually correct, smoke, alcohol, take out boxes at home. Perfect. If anyone proves the Foucauldian theory of sexuality it is EM.

Interesting stuff.

I’ve nearly always called myself “bisexual�? on this blog but the honest answer is – I don’t know. For starters, if I’m gay it means that the my marriage was a complete sham. I spent many years of my life with the ex. I thought I was in love with him. I dreamed and hoped that we would have a good life, kids, grandkids, the whole nine yards. I loved him in the best way I could. The sex was good. We had enough money to do most of the things we liked. But none of it was enough. Not for him, not for me. Somewhere along the way I realised that something fundamental was missing. I didn’t know what, but I knew there was. Was that “something�? a woman? I don’t know. When I’m with The Girl, I feel complete. Again, I don’t know if that’s because she’s a woman or because she is the kind of woman she is.

Broom reflects on her sexual identity.

I read that and thought to myself, I wonder how that must feel. Not so much falling in love with somebody of the same sex, but to feel the kind of love Broom describes so vividly. Everyone is so hung up on sexuality, but I’m so much more hung up on the emotion that she feels there because I’ve never felt that with another human being. But at least I have some hope of finding it someday. How about those people out there who will never get to experience it because they’ll spend their lives looking for it in the wrong gender?

Amrita adds her take on gender and sexuality.

Nita reports on an upcoming legislation for regulating the “rent-a-womb” business, currently pegged at 20 billion rupees. She hopes for it to combat the downside of surrogacy in countries like India.

There are other negative aspects of surrogate motherhood. There are some who feel that if surrogate motherhood becomes a legal ‘business’ then soon educated working women will start hiring wombs to prevent a break in their career! To take an extreme scenario, baby ‘factories’ could spring up!!

Madhu wonders “if women are meat, are men then dogs?“?

If we women are to be continually blamed for being raped, can men at least have the decency to accept in public that they are dogs or cats or anything else but human? Coz you see us women have been living under this illusion for millennia that we co-exist with fellow HUMAN BEINGS…They might have a penis but they still belong to our species…

Amrita reviews Asra Nomani’s new book, Standing Alone in Mecca – A Pilgrimage into the Heart of Islam.

Standing Alone in Mecca is the story of her trip, but it is also the story of a journey Muslim women have taken over millennia. It is the story of Hajar (Hagar), the slave girl who gave birth to a son of Abraham and was abandoned in the desert with her child. It is the story of women who travel all the way to Mecca for a pretty basic right: to stand equal before God.

The Girl from Ipanema on breast cancer:

I don’t usually say this to my blog readers, but I want you all to show this post to your mom. Exhort her to get pro-active about this and schedule an appointment for her with the doctor to better educate her on breast cancer if she is not already aware. Simple steps towards breast cancer detection and prevention are very do-able and go a long way.

Anindita deconstructs Laaga Chunari Mein Daag.

To begin with, the entire film is fraught with strong messages on women’s sexuality and morality. The importance of “purity�? is evoked repeatedly. The primary issue with prostitution is not, according to Sarkar, health, safety, legality, exploitation or violence — but that it destroys a woman’s “purity�?. It is symbolic that the film starts in Banaras, next to the Ganges and moves to Mumbai (that den of vice which devours innocent girls). There are many references to “ganga maiyya�? as a source of purity. And if you thought words like “pavitrata�? had finally been eased out of Bollywood vocabulary, think again. It is the fulcrum of this film.